Knapp's Relational Model

    In 1978, Mark Knapp developed a model that could be used to explain how relationships are formed, how they become stronger, how they can deteriorate, and how they could eventually end (Golchha). This model is known as Knapp's Relational Model. Knapp breaks down relationships into different stages to describe the growth and decline of a relationship between two people. This article by Karishma Golchha goes more into detail about Knapp's Relational Model and all of its various stages.

This rendition of Knapp's Relational Model, along with many others, depicts the model as a staircase, where each stage of a relationship can be thought of as a step, either towards a stronger or a weaker relationship. Just like real stairs, it goes both ways. This image is from Maya Greene on YouTube. She claims it comes from a communication text she used to use.

    For this post, I am going to focus on one of the stages that falls into the "coming apart" category of a relationship, and how it relates to a lifelong friendship I have had with one of my cousins. My cousin and I had always been close as children. We lived very close to each other, so we would spend time with each other often. Eventually, in high school, he was forced to move to a different state. We were no longer able to see each other, and, for a while, we did not communicate at all. After a year or so, he and I reconnected online through Discord. After this, we became close again and would play video games together quite often. We were in the relational maintenance phase, but now that we have matured, I feel that we have fallen to the differentiating stage. In other words, we do not share many of the same interests anymore, and our relationship has diminished as a result. We do not like to play the same games, nor do I have time to play games much due to school and work. As a result, we went from hanging out online once a week to once a month. With online communication as our only option, I feel this form of spending time together has weakened our friendship. 

Different interests can cause separation among individuals.

    Despite this, I am hopeful that we can build our friendship back up. He recently moved back and is living near me again. He does not have a job or any money right now, but once he gets back on his feet, he and I will be able to spend time together in person. This should allow us to circumvent our different interests that were limiting us when we could only communicate online.